Introverted intuition

The temporal world of the IEI is vivid and complex. To take full advantage of their time, the IEI does not share her plans with others, and 'goes with the flow', doing the most enjoyable activity presented with little regard for the plans others have made around her.

Though IEIs will sometimes seem oblivious to social custom, they are in fact aware of their irrational desires. They give little weight to the judgments of others since they have such a strong sense of what they do and do not like. Their gentle demeanor does not cast them as particularly rebellious, but their obscure desires often are a far cry from those of the typical person. IEI's are very imaginative people who tend to be more mystical and dreamy, thus possibly annoying more practical or "grounded" types. They tend to understand the underlying dynamics of situations, people, etc., but may not be able to readily verbalize these insights.

[edit] 2. Extroverted ethics

IEIs have a great understanding of the social hierarchies that surround them. They understand social boundaries, and when those boundaries are in a state of flux. As a result, the IEIs have a way with influencing people; they know when a kind word will strengthen a relationship or hinder it, and how to get what they want from friends and family.

IEIs are comfortable discussing feelings that arise from interaction between people. They are naturals at guessing who has been offended and approaching the person and helping him to let off steam and make amends with the offender. IEIs are typically quick to take the blame for offenses upon themselves in order to show their acceptance and good will towards the other person.

IEIs' speech and voice usually have a certain dramatic affect and depth of feeling. This feeling can be used to generate elation and boisterous laughter as well as feelings of sadness and loss.

When things seem too quiet and low-key, many IEIs like to generate controversy or conflict to stir up the atmosphere and get people involved once again.

IEI's can actually be known to have a very sharp tongue. Given that they can easily understand a person's disposition, they know exactly what effect certain words will produce.

[edit] Super-Ego block

[edit] 3. Introverted sensing

IEIs will often have extremely picky tastes, and will not try new things when a stimulus that has been enjoyed in the past is available. They tend to be unaware to the sensations that are occurring in their body, and thus try to create a consistent, simple way of dealing with this area to minimize the attention they must give to it. They may enjoy good food, but will typically not know when to stop, or, to the other extreme, may not realize when they are hungry. It is not infrequent for an INFp to have a messy living space, although this simply may reflect the organizational style they prefer most. INFp's can become very pedantic about certain things.

[edit] 4. Extroverted logic

IEIs hate being told what to do. They will avoid their friends and family when they expect that they will be assigned work, and do not enjoy fulfilling daily chores. They dislike rote routine and do not give much attention to the practical aspects of life. They may seem oblivious to objective reality, lost in their "dreams." They dislike having facts and statistics thrown at them, giving more weight to their own internal understanding of what they know to be right. INFp's are typically not the most productive people and will not respond well to bossy people who expect organization and efficiency from them. They may also be inept at things like managing finance, or being pragmatic in business ventures.

[edit] Super-Id block

[edit] 5. Extroverted sensing

IEIs are drawn to people who exude self-confidence and personal presence, dream big dreams, and aren't fazed by obstacles that stand in their path.

IEIs own world is one of indecision and hesitation when it comes to taking action and striking out on their own. What best removes this hesitation is when someone else really wants them to do something. The IEI then relies on the other person's strong desire to guide their actions, as if it were their own.

[edit] 6. Introverted logic

INFp's are not very systematic people. Therefore, they appreciate this trait in others. They desire a partner who can provide the motivation (Se) and also the logical structure necessary for them to succeed. Without this, they may slide off the edge of the map, lost in their dreams and out of touch with reality. INFp's are aware of their own disorganization and can sometimes feel as though they do not know what to do about it. Sometimes a simple routine can do wonders for INFp's, as long as they still feel independent. INFp's sometimes doubt their true intellectual abilities, and are unsure of their objective understanding of things. They desire a partner who is strong in this function to introduce some certainty of belief to them. They have a secret desire to truly understand things, but will fall short without an outside perspective to help them do so.

[edit] Id block

[edit] 7. Extroverted intuition

An IEI is not as likely to give as much weight to external patterns and connections, mostly because they can easily see the crux of things through their Ni. while an Ne type may go from point A to point C, and so on, the IEI will quickly observe a situation and gain an underlying understanding that they continually develop until they have reached the essence of things.

[edit] 8. Introverted ethics

An IEI is adept at understanding his/her own disposition towards others and their own general emotional state. Their primary focus, however, isn't on what subjective ties they have, but rather, the energy flow that is going on with and around them.



What does Success mean to an INFP?

INFPs are creative, sensitive souls who take their lives very seriously. They seek harmony and authenticity in their relationships with others. They value creativity, spirituality, and honoring the individual self above all else. They are very tuned into inequity and unfairness against people, and get great satisfaction from conquering such injustices. An INFP is a perfectionist who will rarely allow themselves to feel successful, although they will be keenly aware of failures. INFPs also get satisfaction from being in touch with their creativity. For the INFP, personal success depends upon the condition of their closest relationships, the development of their creative abilities, and the continual support of humanity by serving people in need, fighting against injustice, or in some other way working to make the world a better place to be.

Allowing Your INFP Strengths to Flourish

As an INFP, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and how you can better use your talents to achieve your dreams.

Nearly all INFPs will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and nourish these strengths:

* Highly creative, artistic and spiritual, they can produce wonderful works of art, music and literature. INFPs are natural artists. They will find great satisfaction if they encourage and develop their artistic abilities. That doesn't mean that an INFP has to be a famous writer or painter in order to be content. Simply the act of "creating" will be a fulfilling source of renewal and refreshment to the INFP. An INFP should allow himself or herself some artistic outlet, because it will add enrichment and positive energy to their life.
* They're more spiritually aware than most people, and are more in touch with their soul than others. Most INFPs have strong Faith. Those that don't may feel as if they're missing something important. An INFP should nourish their faith.
* INFPs are very aware of social injustice, and empathize with the underdog. Their empathy for the underdog and hyper-awareness of social injustice makes them extremely compassionate and nurturing towards disadvantaged members of our society. INFPs will feel most useful and fulfilled when they are fighting to help people who have been misfortunate in our society. They may be teachers, ministers, writers, counselors or psychologists, but they will most likely all spend extra time trying to help people with special problems. An INFP can find a tremendous amount of satisfaction by enacting some kind of social change that will help the underdog.
* They're usually good listeners who genuinely want to hear about someone's problems, and genuinely want to help them. This makes them outstanding counsellors, and good friends. An INFP may find great satisfaction from volunteering as a counselor.
* They accept and value people as individuals, and are strongly egalitarian. They believe that an individual has the right to be themself, without having their attitudes and perspectives brought under scrutiny. Accordingly, they have a great deal of tolerance and acceptance dealing with people who might encounter negative judgment from society in general. They can see something positive in everyone. They believe in individuals. If they give themselves the opportunity, an INFP can become a much-needed source of self-esteem and confidence for people who cannot find it on their own. In this way, they can nurture a "sick soul" back to health.
* Usually deep and intelligent, they're able to grasp difficult concepts with relative ease. They usually do quite well academically, and will find that educating their minds nourishes their need to think deeply.

INFPs who have developed their Extraverted iNtuition to the extent that they can perceive the world about them objectively and quickly will find that they enjoy these very special gifts:

* They will have a great deal of insight into people's characters. They will quickly and thoroughly understand where a person is coming from by assessing their motives and feelings. These well-developed INFP individuals make outstanding psychologists (such as Isabel Briggs Myers herself) and counselors. They might also be great fiction writers, because they're able to develop very complex, real characters.
* They will quickly understand different situations, and quickly grasp new concepts. They will find that they're able to do anything that they put their mind to, although they may not find it personally satisfying. Things may seem to come easily to these INFPs. Although they're able to conquer many different kinds of tasks and situations, these INFPs will be happiest doing something that seems truly important to them. Although they may find that they can achieve the "mainstream" type of success with relative ease, they are not likely to find happiness along that path, unless they are living their lives with authenticity and depth.
* The INFP who augments their strong, internal value system (Introverted Feeling) with a well-developed intuitive way of perceiving the world (Extraverted iNtuition) can be a powerful force for social change. Their intense values and strong empathy for the underprivileged, combined with a reliable and deeply insightful understanding of the world that we live in, creates an individual with the power to make a difference (such as Mother Teresa - an INFP).

Potential Problem Areas

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.

INFPs are rare, intelligent, creative beings with many special gifts. I would like for the INFP to keep in mind some of the many positive things associated with being an INFP as they read some of this more negative material. Also remember that the weaknesses associated with being an INFP are natural to your type. Although it may be depressing to read about your type's weaknesses, please remember that we offer this information to enact positive change. We want people to grow into their own potential, and to live happy and successful lives.

Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in INFPs are due to their dominant Feeling function overshadowing the rest of their personality. When the dominant function of Introverted Feeling overshadows everything else, the INFP can't use Extraverted iNtuition to take in information in a truly objective fashion. In such cases, an INFP may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:

* May be extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism
* May perceive criticism where none was intended
* May have skewed or unrealistic ideas about reality
* May be unable to acknowledge or hear anything that goes against their personal ideas and opinions
* May blame their problems on other people, seeing themselves as victims who are treated unfairly
* May have great anger, and show this anger with rash outpourings of bad temper
* May be unaware of appropriate social behavior
* May be oblivious to their personal appearance, or to appropriate dress
* May come across as eccentric, or perhaps even generally strange to others, without being aware of it
* May be unable to see or understand anyone else's point of view
* May value their own opinions and feelings far above others
* May be unaware of how their behavior affects others
* May be oblivious to other people's need
* May feel overwhelmed with tension and stress when someone expresses disagreement with the INFP, or disapproval of the INFP
* May develop strong judgments that are difficult to unseed against people who they perceive have been oppressive or suppressive to them
* Under great stress, may obsess about details that are unimportant to the big picture of things
* Under stress, may obsessively brood over a problem repeatedly
* May have unreasonable expectations of others
* May have difficulty maintaining close relationships, due to unreasonable expectations

Explanation of Problems

Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the common INFP problem of only taking in data that justifies their personal opinions. INFPs are usually very intense and sensitive people, and feel seriously threatened by criticism. They are likely to treat any point of view other than their own as criticism of their own perspective. If the INFP does not learn how to deal with this perceived criticism, the INFP will begin to shut out the incoming information that causes them pain. This is a natural survivalistic technique for the INFP personality. The main driver to the INFP personality is Introverted Feeling, whose purpose is to maintain and honor an intensely personal system of values and morals. If an INFP's personal value system is threatened by external influences, the INFP shuts out the threatening data in order to preserve and honor their value system. This is totally natural, and works well to protect the individual psyche from getting hurt. However, the INFP who exercises this type of self-protection regularly will become more and more unaware of other people's perspectives, and thus more and more isolated from a real understanding of the world that they live in. They will always find justification for their own inappropriate behaviors, and will always find fault with the external world for problems that they have in their lives. It will be difficult for them to maintain close personal relationships because they will have unreasonable expectations, and will be unable to accept blame.

Its not an uncommon tendency for the INFP to look to the external world primarily for information that will support their ideas and values. However, if this tendency is given free reign, the resulting INFP personality is too self-centered to be happy or successful. Since the INFP's dominant function to their personality is Introverted Feeling, they must balance this with an auxiliary Extraverted iNtuitive function. The INFP takes in information via Extraverted iNtuition. This is also the INFP's primary way of dealing with the external world. If the INFP uses Extraverted iNtuition only to serve the purposes of Introverted Feeling, then the INFP is not using Extraversion effectively at all. As a result, the INFP does not take in enough information about the external world to have a good sense of what's going on. They see nothing but their own perspective, and deal with the world only so far as they need to in order to support their perspective. These individuals usually come across as selfish and unrealistic. Depending on how serious the problem is, they may appear to be anything from "a bit eccentric" to "way out there". Many times other people are unable to understand or relate to these people.

Solutions

To grow as an individual, the INFP needs to focus on opening their perspective to include a more accurate picture of what is really going on in the world. In order to be in a position in which the INFP is able to perceive and consider data that is foreign to their internal value system, the INFP needs to know that its value system is not threatened by the new information. The INFP must consciously tell himself/herself that an opinion that does not concede with their own is not an indictment of their entire character.

The INFP who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to their motivation for taking in information. Do they take in information to better understand a situation or concept? Or, do they take in information to support a personal idea or cause? At the moment when something is perceived, is the INFP concerned with twisting that perception to fit in with their personal values? Or is she/he concerned with absorbing the information objectively? To achieve a better understanding of the external world, the INFP should try to perceive information objectively, before fitting it into their value system. They should consciously be aware of their tendency to discard anything that doesn't agree with their values, and work towards lessening this tendency. They should try to see situations from other people's perspectives, without making personal judgments about the situations or the other people's perspectives. In general, they should work on exercising their iNtuition in a truly Extraverted sense. In other words, they should use iNtuition to take in information about the world around them for the sake of understanding the world, rather than take in information to support their own conclusions. The INFP who successfully perceives things objectively may be quite a powerful force for positive change.

Living Happily in our World as an INFP

Some INFPs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often a result of an unawareness of appropriate social behavior, an unawareness of how they come across to others, or unrealistic expectations of others. Any one of these three issues stem from using Extraverted iNtuition in a diminished manner. An INFP who takes in information for the sake of understanding the world around them, rather than one who takes in information only to support their own ideas, will have a clearer, more objective understanding of how society values social behaviors and attitudes. He or she will also be more aware of how they are perceived by others, and will have more realistic expectations for others' behavior within a relationship. Such well-adjusted INFPs will fit happily into our society.

Unless you really understand Psychological Type and the nuances of the various personality functions, it's a difficult task to suddenly start to use iNtuition in an Extraverted direction. It's difficult to even understand what that means, much less to incorporate that directive into your life. With that in mind, I am providing some specific suggestions that may help you to begin exercising your Extraverted iNtuition more fully:

* Take care to notice what people look like in different social situations. Look at their hair, their skin, their makeup (or lack thereof), their clothes, the condition of their clothes, their shoes, their facial expressions. Don't compare others to your own appearance, or pass judgment on their appearance, simply take in the information.
* Think of a situation in your life in which you weren't sure how to behave. Now try to understand how one or two other people would see the situation. Don't compare their behavior to your own, i.e. "she would know better than me what to do", or "why is it so easy for her, but so hard for me". Rather, try to understand how they would see the situation. Would it be seen as a problem, or as an opportunity? Would it be taken seriously or lightly? Try to determine their point of view without passing judgment or comparing it to your own.
* When having a conversation with a friend or relative, dedicate at least half of your time to talking about the other person. Concentrate on really understanding where that person is coming from with their concerns. Ask questions.
* Think of the people who are closest to you. As you think of each person, tell yourself "this person has their own life going on, and they are more concerned with their own life than they are with mine." Remember that this doesn't mean that they don't care about you. It's the natural order of things. Try to visualize what that person is doing right now. What things are they encountering, what thoughts are they having? Don't pass judgment, or compare their situation to your own.
* Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you come into contact with for any length of time.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFP Success

1. Feed Your Strengths! Encourage your natural artistic abilities and creativity. Nourish your spirituality. Give yourself opportunities to help the needy or underprivileged.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! Realize and accept that some traits are strengths and some are weaknesses. Facing and dealing with your weaknesses doesn't mean that you have to change who you are, it means that you want to be the best You possible. By facing your weaknesses, you are honoring your true self, rather than attacking yourself.
3. Express Your Feelings. Don't let unexpressed emotions build up inside of you. If you have strong feelings, sort them out and express them, Don't let them build up inside you to the point where they become unmanageable!
4. Listen to Everything. Try not to dismiss anything immediately. Let everything soak in for awhile, then apply judgment.
5. Smile at Criticism. Remember that people will not always agree with you or understand you, even if they value you greatly. Try to see disagreement and criticism as an opportunity for growth. In fact, that is exactly what it is.
6. Be Aware of Others. Remember that there are 15 other personality types out there who see things differently than you see them. Try to identify other people's types. Try to understand their perspectives.
7. Be Accountable for Yourself. Remember that YOU have more control over your life than any other person has.
8. Be Gentle in Your Expectations. You will always be disappointed with others if you expect too much of them. Being disappointed with another person is the best way to drive them away. Treat others with the same gentleness that you would like to be treated with.
9. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself by assuming the worst. Remember that a positive attitude often creates positive situations.
10. When in Doubt, Ask Questions! Don't assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback. If you need feedback and don't have any, ask for it.

Sept 26,2007

I want to be home.
I want to be with Christy. Becuse she cares about me. And she needs me right now. and I need her right now.I want a hug from my mom and my dad. and my little sisters. Because I miss them. And they care about me. I want to drive in my car, and listen to my music and just be envelloped in my loneliness. I want to cry.I want to feel motivated and energiezed to do my homework. I want a hug from somebody that will not let go after a prescribed amount of time. I want someone to listen to me. and hear what I have to say. I want someone to notice that I am unhappy and stressed...and to care that I am unhappy and stressed. I want someone to help me figure my life out. To help me figure out this jigsaw puzzle of life. Help me flip the pieces over and find all the edge pieces. IF they can get me at least that far... I can figure the rest out. I want to be cradled in my mother's lap where I can just cry. And cry. And she will soothe me. and tell me everything will be ok. because it will be. but somehow it always seems so much more real when your mother says it to you.

From Valentine's Day

What do I want? Do I want him? Do I want to be his world? It doesn’t feel right when I’m with him, that should be a warning sign. But do I want to throw away this opportunity? This is the last time he’ll let me do this to him. I don’t want to keep doing this to him, I really don’t. I thought I wouldn’t do it, but I can’t resist. Why? What is wrong with me? Yesterday at this time I would not have done this, why does 24 hours make such a difference to me? Why do I long for his touch, then cringe when he awards it? Why am I so backwards? Brother Biddulph told me to resist the urge to run away when it came. He told me to resist it. To resist getting weird. Am I even capable of that? Is there a better man out there for me? One who won’t make me cringe when he touches me? One who I won’t mind the world knowing that I love him…. And that he loves me? Would I feel like I settled if I go with him? There is something that I can’t let go of with him. In order to get me, to get all of me, you have to, HAVE TO, figure out how to get me to let go of whatever it is. I can’t do it on my own. He makes me hold on to it even harder. I don’t want to let go of it for him. Not for him. If he could only crack the code. But would I let him crack it? Maybe he’s already found the key, but there is more than just the key you need in order to get in. And he doesn’t have that something more. I fear that this is it. I cannot be with him. I cannot do it. I just can’t do it. Why not? Why can’t I just suck it up and do it? I think it’s because… I want him to be someone else. I want him to be different. I want something different. I don’t want him. Is that it? I wish I knew… if I struggle so much now, I would never be able to be with him, right? It’s been so long and I still can’t do it. And he can’t do it the way I want it. We’re both incapable of doing it someone else’s way. I need to prove to myself that I don’t need someone to be there. That I can be by myself and be content. Or do I need to prove it to everyone else? What is my problem? I can’t seem to figure it out!! I need to focus on school….

We re older than we used to be
This town holds no more to see
We’re fading in, we’re fading out until I hear you say

Come on, come on
Hey kid, this is far too important for you to understand
She says be a man, you know this is what we both wanted
It’s time for us to let go
of all we’ve known

Just Surrender "Of All We've Known"

A Crush....

I've got a crush on you.
You're just so.... I don't even know.
But you're delicious.
And oh, how I wish you thought the same of me.
Just the way you come to sit with me.
And talk to me, one on one.
And see me as a person, as a friend.
I like that.
And you've got no clue at all how highly I think of you.

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

I'm SOOO exhausted!!!

AND all I need to do to catch up is to SLEEP and be ALONE. I'm physically exhausted and socially exhausted and I need time to myself so badly!! BUT.... When I have the opportunity to be social, I take it! DESPITE the fact that I NEED to be alone to catch up!!

BAHHHH. Which is why I have short relationships, short friendships, and no constant group of friends to hang out with.

Because I am not constant!!

I starve for social interaction, so when I have the opportunity, I binge. And then I exhaust myself, and have to completely come back to myself, usually ending the friendship/relationship for good. My best friends are the ones that don't like me any less once I recuperate and return for more socializing.

I might look like a flake, or someone who can't make up their mind, or a "floater." And in many ways, those words do describe my behavior. But it isn't that I like you any less, because in most cases, that isn't true. But I have to know that I can pull into myself and that you'll still be there when I come back out-- without bitterness. You can miss me, and be glad when I return, but if you don't give me the space and allow me to regenerate my energy, you will find that I have a low tolerance for your inability to give me the space I need. I will let you expend my energy, but at that point is when I run away and lose interest in you. When I know that I can't take that time to regenerate without you thinking something is desperately wrong, that I hate you, or that something has changed.... that is when something will change and I will lose interest in you.

I'm such a complicated person.... my desires are so paradoxical. I wonder if I'll ever be able to explain myself in a comprehensible way. Is that even possible for anyone?