I just watched The Notebook again.
Oh how it makes my heart ache...
I fell asleep before the ending, and woke up with an aching heart, pulsing in sync with the credit music.
My heart longs for something past, something future, something unknown.
It is not for the past to become the future, I don't think....
But more a nostalgia of the love that once was,
and the subtle, yet ever-present fear that I will never have love like that again.
I have been waking up to that feeling nearly every day for the last two weeks.
Perhaps that is why I have kept myself so busy-- even when I have a chance to rest.
Resting gives me time to get down, and for my heart to ache.
Why won't my heart heal? Why must it long for something?
I don't even know WHAT it longs for. It feels like my heart is melting, and bubbling over the edges, seeping with subtle pain.