I'm just not open to new love. I don't like opening my arms to new people, and I have a hard time trusting their intentions. I just want someone who can teach me what true love is really like, someone who can ease me into it and be patient with me.

I am trying to really detach myself from those things that are causing my troubles, and to really take a better look at myself. I'm trying to look at things more reflexively, rather than blaming everyone else for things not working in my favor.

I cannot love, I cannot trust, and I am so impatient and intolerant. I am not confident in what I have to offer, and can't even imagine someone truly loving everything that I am. I feel entirely inadequate and incapable of having the kind of relationship that I truly desire, and haven't the slightest clue of how to repair or build my confidence in my relationship skills.